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Hi.


Given, many of you may glaze over this, I'll try to keep it short.

Much of what I Could say here, probably wouldn't be received well, or rather at all, since most don't like paying mind to "perceived negative beings, oh no".

Preface, over.

In my current lifetime, there has been nothing but setbacks and lapses of suicidal depression. For context, I'm not the type of being that just sits and waits for s***. I think about something and then if it's All sound to me, I execute it. Plain and simple, straight to the point.

Recently, that type of effort hasn't been working in several avenues;

No friends (albeit sociable (humans being too afraid to talk with anyone unless they "knew them already". Like wtf?" When some of these people come up to me like we're best buddies then completely retract afterwards, like hypocrites.)

No family (never knew my real family anyway, so here I am with f***** up fakes)

College never happened (9 times, denied)

Jobs are either up in the air or I get "fired" for simply doing my best (I'M NOT MAKING THIS S*** UP.), Someone else trying to start some s*** with me or the company is running out of money, despite having the whole f****** population as their workforce/idiotic business practices.

Entrepreneurship is a failed ideal.

Cash job dipshits don't want to pay for your labour and when you bring it up to them, they try to insult you and have the GALL to call you for "work" again.

Regarding my emotional needs;

So called "professional help" is literally garbage. Hotlines have waiting lists and hospitals/medical centers are of no aid. Private therapists are f****** greed infused and won't care to help unless they're getting money out of you (sure it's business, but if that's your first statement...). Then you're getting sent half across the world via calling people, just to have someone f****** listen... What is even the f****** point if there not going to help?!

Let's go to the "spiritual" side of things...

Do all the f****** major s*** that needed to be done, nothing f****** comes of it. Typical f****** response is "durrrr you shuldnnt axepact dehh onionverzzze tuu duuu ahnyytheeeng!! Hurrrr!" Like, yeah, no s*** refer to the preface of, "ACTUALLY DOING S*** TO IMPROVE MYSELF AND MY CIRCUMSTANCES."

Spirits are f****** liars, despite the fact of removing the regressive ones. (Well I guess that didn't matter anyway.)

SEVERAL GROUPS OF THEM, okay, retain that in mind, SEVERAL GROUPS... And not one of them can f****** do anything?! Instead let's just talk about the f****** problem, that'll fix everything.

The environment I reside in is inhabited by garbage and if rather be elsewhere. Though how am I going to do s*** when I'm always being denied EVERYTHING?! SUICIDE WAS MUCH THE SAME, as you can clearly see..!

"Durrrr uu neeeehd tuu buee muurr offvv uurr truu faamminnneenn pulllaahrriteee!" And then everything is just going to be f****** dandy. "Do nothing" they said, "we'll handle it" there f****** said. Clearly can't f****** handle anything!

Universe is basically a broken idle PC. Let's repeat the same f****** crap of how "everything is well and you should "TRUST THE F****** PROCESS..." TRUST THE PROCESS, EH? The f****** same process that placed me in this issue in the first place!?

"Ahhh it's all about... Perception... Shah..." Yup, didn't f****** do that before... I can't believe I have never thought of that, you must be so wise, oh my god...10/10 wisdom, mate. Good Job.

I have spent a long time here, which I'm not going into detail about. Whatever, I suppose at this f****** juncture, it's all busy f****** pointless...
F****** cheers, mate,
Isolated

Tags: Pissed, expressive

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Sorry to hear you've gotten such a raw deal from life. Hopefully venting helps. I don't know if I can offer anything else useful. And I'll spare you having to listen to another person offering the same advice. I think I operate in a similar fashion. I like to plan and execute (capricorn energy), and I also have areas where I was never able to make any progress. It sounded like that process works just fine for you in some avenues though. Do you know what makes those avenues different from the ones you can't make progress on? Maybe looking at the differences will provide some insight at the very least. I hope you find the answers you're looking for and I'm happy to listen if you wanna talk any time.

Well thanks for the down to earth response, for starters.

The only things that AREN'T denied is basically doing f****** nothing. Like "go to the ocean", spend time in nature stuff. Like I don't have anything against being in nature, far from it. However, when I'm in a situation full of garbage, just driving around to go to nature spots doesn't really feel productive.

I create music and art, but those only help so much. Like what if I don't WANT to go outside every damn day, to do something I SHOULD be able to do in my "room" (infringed upon space). Obviously the above is just to refer to what I said earlier.

However, even with the creative outlets, no one supports it. So I create and make and create and make and then what? Nothing. Bloody f****** nothing.

Then everyone's all like, "Durr, the universe or whatever, doesn't help those who don't help themselves." Like, what the f*** do you think I was doing.... I'm so glad that I have done the exact bloody f****** thing that you're so on about. Yup, good one.

Ugh... F****** nothing, you see?

So, I don't know what you would make of the above, but nothing works.
Also, thanks for offering to communicate and listen... And taking the time to read my best selling novel.

I know well about locked doors and brick walls. and useless efforts that go nowhere. and isolation. and not being understood. and being failed by 'professionals'. lots of people have crap lives.

it's not getting what you want that matters, but attitude. think about this incarnation as a blip in cosmic time. it wont last forever. but if when you leave it you've gained something for your spirit such as the inner strength to endure s*** and not be pissed off then you've succeeded.

get out and do something useful and stop feeling sorry for yourself. the world is full of beauty waiting for you to enjoy it. if you open your eyes.

and love..

I think with your attitude I've wasted my time typing this. but I wish you well.

Don't assume my perspectives.

My attitude has nothing to do with it. If having a drive to get things done is anything to go by, if you read that part, then obviously attitude was already covered. Change, change, change, change all the time.

I never would have thought to "do something useful". Thanks.

And if it was such a waste to type a response to me, then why even bother to? Sounds a little high of you. Not sure if you wish well with "that" attitude... But we shouldn't assume should we?

There's a lot of context you haven't gathered. Mainly because I left out the long drawn out parts.

Thanks for stopping by.

sorry Isolated if I sound 'high' minded. it wasn't intended. I replied because I hoped my effort might help you shift into a better and happier perspective. btw, your current perspective is obvious from your original post. It's possible to be happy even when things don't go your way. I know from experience. and yes, I do wish you all the joy and peace that life offers irrespective of the circumstances we deal with. its why I bothered to reply. :) <3

Here's the contradictory aspect, I AM happy, to myself that is. However, there are times you have to act and act is all I ever do.

Simply because nothing and no one would help because they ACTUALLY wanted to, only because they had ulterior motives or felt guilted by their past actions.

Enough with this "my way" crap. It wasn't "my way". I was doing something, anything to make things a foundation for better things to come.

Better, never came. So now here's to bloody f****** stagnation. The hell am I supposed to do when I'm goddamned tired of making f****** lemonade?

You know, that damned phrase of "life giving lemons"? Well it can take back it's damn lemons. Tired of this s***.

F***** up stagnance.
Yeah, I know, the title says "isolated". I suppose what it should say is "trapped", by the "oh so special "divine". Much the same anyway, right?

I can totally relate to feeling trapped. 30 years ill in bed hasn't been/isn't a picnic. I'm 61 now and still working determinedly to restore myself even tho I've made little progress as yet. lol have to laugh. ;D I resolve the stagnation issue by not allowing it to be inner stagnation. We can expand into better and greater versions of ourselves if we choose, be a truer wiser more good person, no matter what is happening in our lives. and actually that's all that matters. Take care friend. <3

Therein is where the problem lies, doesn't it?

Bye, then.

I’ve been reset in this life 16 times.
I’ve gone to the same schools over and over
Met the same teachers the same “friends” the same crap bosses etc.
So I empathize with your frustration
Nothing seems to matter because the second I die I start from scratch.

Food for thought
1.) doing things does not mean the things are good or right (or even wrong) to do
2.) Every action will bring a reaction relative to the nature of the energy you put out (not going to say positive or negative because I honestly don’t endorse such notions of positive and negative, energy is just energyits the will of the user that makes it harmful or beneficial)
3.) I literally will never see anything beyond this life because I am forever trapped between the years 1992 and 2019. You think you got problems? I can’t even suicide to escape. Tried several times.

My advice
1.
In your own way. In a calm neutral energy ask Source what it wants you to do. Ask it for guidance. Any impulse any feelings you might feel even if you disagree with them or it seems pointless (it really is) , follow those ideas and impulses even if it’s your own head talking to you.

2.
Realize that the vast majority of people are clueless. That’s why they regurgitate the same cookie cutter lines constantly. They aren’t teachers they’re wannabes incapable of forming their own free thoughts

Blessings and Balance friend
I hope this helps and if not I can only apologize for trying.

Suicide was denied to me as well after several lapses. To the point where "supernaturally" every sharp object became dull the days I was actually going to follow through. How about that, eh?

That's the way I was seeing it. It's energy, why would it be wrong to execute a plan of action?

#2 first. Obviously.

#1 nothing but some "loving embodiment" of the "divine" comes forward. Being of the similar "polarity" of this presence, it would only make sense they would try to come forward... Yet that isn't an urging, now is it?

So basically, nothing. It tells me nothing, aside from "everything is going to be fine". Yeah... Same story... Everytime.

Regarding your mention of resets, I may have a relation to that as well. However, I'm not assuming it's the same.


Thanks for sharing your perspective. Not sure what you'd make of the above, though.

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