Everything has a reason. We are One.

Finding this website has been the most helpful thing in my life. As I may have said in a previous journal, I'm still in shock there are others out there going through the same thing as me, I'm fearful but of what I don't know, I have a sense of unease and I'm confused. I'm only just coming to terms that I really am not alone...

I have to admit I still get frustrated. I just want to know stuff now and not have to wait (maybe it's not my time yet),I have ssooo many questions! I'm also getting frustrated as there's someone/something I'm meant to find but I don't know what this is. This is a tremendous feeling inside and I haven't written about it before as I needed to get 'old' stuff out of my system, and now the new 'stuff' seems to be surfacing lol. I will find out this information and what I'm suppose to find :-), though I don't actually know where to start lol!

This might just be me being emotional lol... I've been reading some posts and I don't want to sound patronising but I could feel the pain, frustrations, upset, confusion (some of which I can relate to) in what was being written (I should really learn to control this lol). All I wanted to do is help. Reassure everyone that it was going to be ok. Life has it's ups and downs but we have to be strong within ourselves. A path has been set but when the path splits it's up us to choose which road to take. If we go down a road that is not familiar it could be because this is something that hadn't been learnt before. To become a better person/spirit/life, however you would like to describe it, we have to learn. We cannot help others if we have only experienced a small percentage of what life brings. By learning more, we can help and understand more. This may have positive or negative effects but I would like to think that it would make people stronger, more spiritual, more positive, more loving. And when things do change, less afraid and more excepting.

The reason why I say that I don't want this post to sound patronising is that I've never experienced any tragedy in my life at a young age. Yes I've experienced lifes ups and downs, family members passing away, family illness, but I've always sensed throughout this that my family, here, will be ok:-)

I don't want to preach, I'm not religious, I'm just me. Like everyone else I'm a person here who is looking for answers, looking for that person/thing and I guess I'm also looking for someone to tell me who I am, why am I here, which probably I can only find out...?

It is funny because I read my other journal posts and I actually think to myself... "Did I really write that?!" lol!! If I talk like this in the 'real' world I occasionally get funny looks, but I've decided I don't care anymore :-). Though knowing I'm not from 'here', will always remain a secret, and only told on this website. This is just one thing I cannot explain to anyone 'out there'.

Everything has a reason. We are One.

Tags: am, are, i, one, path, thoughts, we, who, why

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Comment by Axel on February 6, 2011 at 3:50pm: Hi Jen,

thanks for this wonderful post. I remember having gone through the same issues a while ago. I also had (and still have) questions about who I am, why I am here, and where we are going. But one thing I learned is that it is up to us to find the answers. And also to chose the direction we want to go. Life is an endless journey with no ending. And all the ups and downs help us to make our choices.

Many blessings to you. Love and Light,

Axel

Comment by Axel on February 6, 2011 at 4:07pm: I fully agree to what you say. We all carried anxiety with us for lifetimes over lifetimes. It is not always easy (at least it was not for me) to face our fears and transform them. But the more we do, the more we trust our own capabilities. And that allows us to develop faith, which sometimes leads to knowing.

The people who think you are weird are just not ready to accept the truth. They are still much asleep and caught up in the illusions of 3D. Don't worry about them. They will wake up when their time is right. We can only follow our own path and learn from the situations life presents to us. And step by step we will become more of who we really are.

Blessings,

Axel

Comment by Jen on February 6, 2011 at 4:32pm: Thanks :)

@axel - Thanks for reading! :)
Did you find anything that helped? Is there anything that allowed you to find the paths that can be chosen? I'm meditating which is helping, but I seem to get more questions (& my head starts to hurt lol).

@Megan - Ah yes, I never thought of it like that. I always presume that who I would tell would automatically think 'loon' lol, and never thought it could be someone feeling the same. Thanks Megan! I'll try and be myself :)

Jen x

Comment by Axel on February 6, 2011 at 4:52pm: Hi Jen,

you are asking big questions here :-) There were certainly many things that helped me (like meditating, contemplating, feeling, listening, ...). I believe there is not one single technique to use. Life itself is the best teacher. All encounters we have, all situations we find ourselves in, have something to teach us. If we are able to listen to the messages those situations have for us, we can indeed make some progress.

For most of my life, I was operating mostly from the mind (I know what you mean when you say your head starts to hurt - lol). But I found that was a very limited approach. What was important to me was to find out why I made certain choices and not others. It taught me a lot about fear. You wouldn't believe how many of my choices were (and still are) based on fear. I can hardly believe it myself ;-)

Great post indeed. Thanks again.

Love and Light to all of you,

Axel

Comment by Johnathan Kolenovsky on February 6, 2011 at 5:19pm: Wow Jen. Wow. I completely sympathize with you. I am going through the exact thing. This feeling of "I'm suppose to find out something. There's something that I need to learn/know." And it's there and it's strong and it cannot simply be swept aside or wished away.

However, we must be patient. If there's one thing I've learned for absolute certainty, it is that we are where we are meant to be. Whatever feelings and experiences we have right now and the next moment, we are meant to have and we are far from a strayed path.

Having said that, even knowing this fact and accepting it, it doesn't deter me from trying to find out whatever it is I FEEL that I need to know. Like you I have no idea what that could be, but I've decided to lean more towards a particular direction. And that is myself. I want to know more about myself and my past. (The more we know about the past, the better prepared we are for the future)

I'm only 18 and I haven't experienced a whole heck of a lot yet here on earth, but I have had my ups and downs and there's always a challenge. And I Understand Now, that everything I have experienced was to prepare me for the upcoming events. I marvel now at how meticulously guided I've been.

I know now, that there are no coincidents and whatever I experience is only to help me, and I can use this experience to help others. There is no negative information. Only knowledge and experience because ultimately everything, everyone leads back to the source of all that is.

I wish for all your questions and desires manifest to fruition. Namaste

In LOVE and LIGHT

Johnathan

Comment by Arisingmoon on February 6, 2011 at 5:20pm: There's some very wise young people who have their answers, but for those that haven't, I don't think there are any short cuts, in fact developing patience is a very important lesson in itself. I believe we have our opportunities unfolding just as they should, if we're told something too early, we won't make sense of it, but if something is important enough for us to know, then it will return when we're ready then we will understand. There is no better teacher than experience.

Comment by Jen on February 6, 2011 at 5:56pm: Thanks :)

I'm going to take all of this on board... ah that's a shame their are no short cuts (joking lol!) ;)

I think Axel, you may have hit the nail on the head for me... fear! I need to look into this a bit more, but it's just rang some bells.

Aw, as they say... Patience is a virtue :). Thanks for reminding me Arisingmoon, sometimes my brain can go crazy with too much information/questions, and patience seems to go out the window lol.

@Johnathan - when you find out what it is your suppose to know/learn, be sure to keep me updated! :). I've just started to look into my self more and more over these past few days... at the moment, it's been positive :). Yes I've got more questions and answers but I'm feeling like I'm actually finding myself :)

When I was 18, I don't remember any websites/chat about this, so it's great to see that the younger generation has this support :)) (I just made myself feel old lol!!)

Comment by Rev. Carmela on February 6, 2011 at 8:53pm: I would like to add......the answer is probably not as complex as you might think it is. I would suggest replacing all fear with LOVE. Fear has no place in your life as it is of a lowered vibration ...causes shallow breathing......next time you feel fear...breathe deeply....deeeply...

think of love or an experience you have had in the past where LOVE was very present for you.

Stay with that thought.......the fear will go from you because you will relax into a higher level of mind.

Also, do you believe that GOD/SOURCE ENERGY is everywhere? Do you believe this source energy is also in YOU??? If so, then what is there to fear? NO FEAR... stay with LOVE

sent with much love and intentions for your peace of mind and being.

Rev Carmela

Comment by Axel on February 6, 2011 at 10:19pm

Love - Fear issues (some at least ;-):

I don't love my job but I fear to lose it (I love having enough money so I go on with my job - but it is based upon the fear of not have enough money if I would drop it.)
I fear to take more responsibility for my life because I don't know what would happen if I did (same as the job issue ?).
I feel insecure about my own desires and therefore seek approval from others (society, friends, parents, ...) in everything I do.

I would love to know how I can turn those fears into love because they seem to be complex enough for me to deal with. Even if I breathe deeply, these fears do not vanish. I admit they move temporarily into the back of my awareness. But they always come back.

Comment by Rev. Carmela on February 6, 2011 at 10:55pm: Hi Axel..... ok... here is my response to your questions and final statement... Take it or leave it as you feel led or as your heart leads you.....

1) fear of losing the job is perhaps because you see the job as your source of money and provision......but isn't the true source of your provision from THE SOURCE OF ALL ? The universe always provides. I raised 2 sons, from the ages of 2 and 5 years old, with no help from their father, my former husband, no help from family or anyone. Yes, there was fear for me as well, however, I did trust in a Higher Power for our provison and though I worked very hard I can plainly state, we were all provided for and I was never on welfare, etc. There were many nights I cried in fear and prayed while in that fear...and trusted God while in that fear....but most important the love I held for my sons allowed me to put the fear aside and forge ahead. I did, and they never went in want. Just an example of LOVE overcoming fear.

2) Whether or not you take responsiblity or not...you are still responsible for every thought you have, every action you take, whether of love or fear. We are free will ...we choose.

3) We all go thru that as well in some form or another, I think. The only approval you really need is your own.....you know when something is right or wrong for you, no one else can really approve or disapprove.....

If you really want to turn fear into the higher vibration of love.....stick wth it and it will become second nature and not so hard to accomplish. Practice makes perfect. Every fear, no matter the reason or content......can be transformed by thinking and feeling LOVE and as you do this, eventually those negative feelings and thoughts of fear will be no more. Try it, keep at it.....see it works. Takes effort and awareness of your thoughts, but you can do this.

Just my humble opinion .....I dont claim to be an authority, just giving you