Intl. Starseed Network
Reuniting Humanity With Their Divinity...It's Time
Nightmares
I'm making this post because I hope some of you might be able to help or at least give some light on this.
I've always had horrible nightmares, in fact I can't recall ever having a good dream. The only ones that I consider 'good' are actually very terrifying and bad, but have a 'cool' aspect to them. Like a horror movie that has a badass hero somewhere in it. I can fully feel pain in my dreams, which is why I wonder why people say you can't, and also can die in dreams just fine without waking up like they claim you can't. I wake up screaming, sleep paralysis, sometimes on the other side of the room, crying, fighting invisible things, you name it. I used to be a lot worse about the waking up actions than I am now, but I think that's more self programming because it's a bit hard to hold down a relationship when you scream and fight things at all hours lol. Anyhow, that was a bit of background but what I'm wondering is this-
A lot of people get their communications through dreams, and I was thinking this should work well for me since mine are so vivid and realistic. I often dream of aliens, but it's nothing new as I did just as much before I had a clue that there were any around at all. (Never doubted their existence, just didn't know any were around earth at all). I use the word aliens besides ET's because what I'm dreaming of aren't good, they aren't benevolent, I'm pretty sure they're just my own leftover fantasy life sticking around to haunt me. Long story short, the dreams haven't changed at all.
Every night I do my fail attempt at meditation, I visualize protective light, I ask for protection from beings of the light, ask for communication, and to remember and be lucid during my dreams. Then proceed to wake up every hour shaking, soaked, and terrified. There's no messages, there can't be, as it's all just senseless torture and violence. For example last night I dreamt of having my face torn off by a bison. What? Meaning? Doubt it lol. But that's the exception rather than the norm. Usually it's involving torture, rape, imprisonment, slavery, beatings, desperation, that type of stuff. It feels like there should be a message somewhere, but I can't find one. I seriously just think it's my own screwed up stuff.
My question I guess is does this mean I have too much emotional garbage for any kind of contact to even get through, or am I just hoping for something that isn't meant for me and this isn't how it's going to happen? I feel like I'm over everything I usually dream about, like those events don't even cross my mind anymore and when they do I honestly feel nothing towards them (horray dissociation!). And if it is just plain old nightmares, then wtf can I do about them? I'm scared to sleep and honestly haven't been much because they've gotten so much more vivid and painful (literally) lately, it's like when I was on effexor. I'm sure at least one person on this site knows what I'm talking about with that. But I'm med free and have been for like 3 years. I feel like I've tried every know technique both scientific and spiritual to get any kind of peace during the night, but it just never ends.
Is anyone else experiencing this? Or do you know if it means something? Maybe I just am crazy like everyone has been telling me my whole life.
I've always had horrible nightmares, in fact I can't recall ever having a good dream. The only ones that I consider 'good' are actually very terrifying and bad, but have a 'cool' aspect to them. Like a horror movie that has a badass hero somewhere in it. I can fully feel pain in my dreams, which is why I wonder why people say you can't, and also can die in dreams just fine without waking up like they claim you can't. I wake up screaming, sleep paralysis, sometimes on the other side of the room, crying, fighting invisible things, you name it. I used to be a lot worse about the waking up actions than I am now, but I think that's more self programming because it's a bit hard to hold down a relationship when you scream and fight things at all hours lol. Anyhow, that was a bit of background but what I'm wondering is this-
A lot of people get their communications through dreams, and I was thinking this should work well for me since mine are so vivid and realistic. I often dream of aliens, but it's nothing new as I did just as much before I had a clue that there were any around at all. (Never doubted their existence, just didn't know any were around earth at all). I use the word aliens besides ET's because what I'm dreaming of aren't good, they aren't benevolent, I'm pretty sure they're just my own leftover fantasy life sticking around to haunt me. Long story short, the dreams haven't changed at all.
Every night I do my fail attempt at meditation, I visualize protective light, I ask for protection from beings of the light, ask for communication, and to remember and be lucid during my dreams. Then proceed to wake up every hour shaking, soaked, and terrified. There's no messages, there can't be, as it's all just senseless torture and violence. For example last night I dreamt of having my face torn off by a bison. What? Meaning? Doubt it lol. But that's the exception rather than the norm. Usually it's involving torture, rape, imprisonment, slavery, beatings, desperation, that type of stuff. It feels like there should be a message somewhere, but I can't find one. I seriously just think it's my own screwed up stuff.
My question I guess is does this mean I have too much emotional garbage for any kind of contact to even get through, or am I just hoping for something that isn't meant for me and this isn't how it's going to happen? I feel like I'm over everything I usually dream about, like those events don't even cross my mind anymore and when they do I honestly feel nothing towards them (horray dissociation!). And if it is just plain old nightmares, then wtf can I do about them? I'm scared to sleep and honestly haven't been much because they've gotten so much more vivid and painful (literally) lately, it's like when I was on effexor. I'm sure at least one person on this site knows what I'm talking about with that. But I'm med free and have been for like 3 years. I feel like I've tried every know technique both scientific and spiritual to get any kind of peace during the night, but it just never ends.
Is anyone else experiencing this? Or do you know if it means something? Maybe I just am crazy like everyone has been telling me my whole life.
-
Comment by Rende on July 22, 2010 at 9:24am -
I've never had problems with nightmares so I'm not sure if I can offer anything that will be very helpful, but I'll try. First I want to know if you are ever lucid in you dreams? With lucidity you might be able to change your surroundings in your dreams and escape the nightmarish elements. I've been told drinking lots of water during the day can help you achieve this state. Experimenting with astral projection can help too. My next advice would be to list everything you've already tried so that you don't get a whole lot of useless advice. Someone may think of something not on your list. Do you generally feel like a victim in your life, or is it just in your nightmares?
Stay hopeful, your solution may come any day now.
-
Comment by Brock Paganus on August 4, 2010 at 4:35pm -
Hi jen..reading this, and your other post..do you do anything to 'clear' the vibrations you are reacting to? if you've been around people on drugs etc- low vibrations may be drawn, and sounding naturally sensitive, sounds like you are picking up on the resonance of bad energy; there are many ways to help clear your aura and your energy; positive thought; incense; joss-sticks; salt-water in a bath; good shower after a bad-hair day-oh, and 'clear' your sleeping space too- cos of leaving the nightmares in the bed(!)- just sweep and make the bed...see if it helps. Light and a gentle golden sphere of peace around you-blessings
-
Comment by Jen on August 4, 2010 at 6:45pm -
Brock- This made me laugh so hard cuz it's probably exactly right. I don't deal with many people but at least half of the few that I do I have a.. vibrational "cringing" or something around them. I've had some changes with my drug habits as well which are good from a health standpoint but possibly more dangerous from a spiritual. My bedroom is a mystical land of cat pee and garbage and I don't even *have* sheets. And I don't do much in the way of clearing out any energies. I've meant to, but I don't have any 'stuff' like sea salt, and I guess don't think I'm capable of helping myself out with visualization to a point of anything noticeable yet. Still need 'tools' to even try to clear things I guess.
-
Comment by Brock Paganus on August 4, 2010 at 9:36pm
-
Hi Jen...NP, most of us have been there at sometime, onelife or another...at one point i used to drink myself unconscious so as never to wake- couldnt cope with what i sensed; hung out with a'black' lodge, who were stoned and on more pills than a smarty factory- didnt need to pop anything, just needed to be within 10 meters of anyone tripping...add dream-sharing to the mix and well... life literally a nightmare(!)
U dont need 'tools' to clear energy. They can help, yes, and we all like the pomp and ceremony, yet Jen... you are already on that road. [shrug] i personally dont agree with drugs- i know they can open doors best left shut not wedged open, but you dont need to hear that.
Well all u do... is get some water, stand it in sunlight, ask that it be empowered with positive energy from the universe, then go round flicking it...
ask for a guide, an angel, something of good energy, to come and help.....
Heck, its what they are meant to do, so no worries asking, right?
And u dont need to worry if U negative..cos u can ask them to help with that too...
It will take time... at moment U, from what u say, are going thru changes, different habits with the habit-only U can tell where u need to go/what U need to do. If, As and When u ready, things will change
.......yet, sis, from what you say on your site, i think u have a LOT of ability in dreamscape ... not going to be easy pulling away, plus, cos how strong your presence may make peoples dreams..they drawn like moth sometimes; and the drugscapes- they are close to dreams, sometimes.
You have a strength inside you that you are just beginning to find. No-one can live with fear and around such things without being strong; your compassion and desire to help, is a great strength- yet you must also use that, FOR YOU.
Only you know how.oops. used the 'must word' n- sorry; cant tell u how to live, slapped wrist.
Light, power and love, sis- Dream strong, good dreams
Comment
© 2013 Created by Yshatar Sereyael.
 |
 |
 |
You need to be a member of Intl. Starseed Network to add comments!
Join Intl. Starseed Network