despite the best intentions, fear the possibility of infinite regression. Things move too quickly. Time and hunger are not forgiving. Need to slow down, take things one piece at a time, if things will not handle themselves in an amicable matter. Perhaps this nightmare and forgetfulness are necessary, but I feel completely unprepared, and am unwilling to hide it, or degrade myself in an effort to cope and fit in.
??? I'm just adding friends before I get tired and forget. Head forward just leaving a trail in case it seems to mean anything. Been stuck so long in this life that I need some serious time and space to reorient. Too many changes. Day to day alterations of perception without drugs. Very little of the warm fuzzy things that ought to go along with having advanced capabilities. Probably still quite spiritually immature but I'm confident my intentions are properly aligned, even if not so pure. However as far as the rules here I'm generally clueless and don't think it should matter and less and less inclined to give up my ideals for $$$ because that is fleeting along with mind and friends that you thought were dependable things
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