"Thats cool. I never hear anyone else say they like bees. The wasps either. My dad tries to kill them when he sees theres a wasps nest and it pisses me off. He wont listen to reason. They have this nice buzz to them, like if youre inviting, they fly…"
"Beasts! I love the beasts. Particularly werewolves. Theyre considered more of a Myth than an actual creaturr, but I believe in them. I have always had an affinity for werewolves. Some of my favorite dreams were as a werewolf. I never attacked people…"
"I like her rivers and lakes. Mountains, snow. Rain. The animals. Bees and wasps are some of my favorite. People give them a bad reputation and are afraid of their sting, and they all lash out....not all people of course...but common people lash out…"
"i am deeply gratified that i could help, Tanner...
does "Thunderbird" resonate with you ? then you may be Heyoka...but multitudes of peoples have their own versions of Sacred Clowns...you will enjoy exploring this vast area....maybe…"
"Thank uou thak you, I am the sacred clown. It fits me betet than any other deacriptiom Ive searched for. Angel...demon....shaman...alien...magician....rebel...outcast....soldier of god....comedian....starseed.....I am the clown. All searches are…"
"*smiles*....sometimes we need to do things in order to learn.....
have you ever heard of " the sacred clown" concept, known to native americans, but globally under other names ?
maybe explore it and see if it fits ; )"
Personal Path Or Religion? (All paths/religions are honored and welcomed)
I work for earth, and the people of earth. My path is to heal, no matter how bad it hurts.
About you: (Please Answer In Depth To Be Approved)
I have put forth a lot of effort in anchoring love and higher thought in this world. I have broken down and reformed my mind in more ways than could be recounted...suffered the pains of being stuck where I don't want to be...desperately seeking the answers that would help ease my troubles...searched blindly and willingly into music, drugs, laughter, depression, hatred, sex, demonic posession, mental manipulation, spiritual forums and articles, philosophical lectures, movies to make me cry, pictures and paintings to remind me of something long forgotten yet deeply missed...all just to catch another glimpse of what I missed the most-- The only one that I call god--LOVE. In my darkest days, days that dragged on into the next, for months on end, I lost almost all faith and hope in my purpose, and in the meaning of life. My dissatisfaction morphed into hatred for everyone and everything. I denounced humanity as a species of morons and dreaded the thought of javing to exist for another second. The only things that kept me going were fear of suicide--as well as pride for not taking myself out--,the thought that people needed me here, and words that a wise man told me in the rocky mountains...."You have a good heart. Keep going." So I did. I stuck through the heavy shit, the pains, the madness of a split mind, the fear and uncertainty of how all things will play out, until the days turned lighter. After another annual mushroom trip and a glorious contact with healing spirits, as well as untranslatable, but beautiful, visions, I got my second wind and a surge to keep going and realign with what I need to do. I had to feel the pains of coming back to life in the city and experience the same old dramas and boring routines that drove me mad before, but in this new chapter, I come with new insights. The battle is far from over, but I'm going to continue to live until my expiration date comes. Until then, I play guitar with my bandmates, wear my favorite clothes, eat, shit, and drink, and do my best to keep the peace.
Why Do You Think You're a Starseed? Or Why Are You Interested? (Please Answer In Depth To Be Approved)
I once gave a long and detailed answer to this question, but it isn't needed. I have had more than enough confirmations about what I am to question it anymore, and with the help from a fellow starseed, I was pointed to my origins--Andromeda. In times of doubt and insecurity, I can now look up a picture or video to remind me, and the surge of energy comes back to me.
What Do You Think About Extraterrestrials? (Please Answer In Depth To Be Approved)
I know some are good people. I have met others like me who shared their stories of how they first met their guides and that first led me to believe that ET's or aliens can be trusted. But I have also had some fucked up experiences and suspected interference by ID's. For a good chunk of time, I had a phone that started short cuircuting on me after I met my Twin and my Catalyst (the catalyst turned out to be not as cool as I thought, and really a very nasty being who tried very hard to blind me and keep me trapped). Almost any time I started to think about my twin or about Archons, my phone would go haywire and I couldnt even type a message to my twin or surf the internet on forums. I started to come across articles about beings called Archons and tried to read as much information to gather my own perspective, usually on wether or not to trust the information or to trust certain beings whose purpose is to feed off our energies or inflict as much negativity and lies as possible. When I would try to read these things, I got a lot of intereference. So I grew weary of extraterrestrials in general. As for living flesh ET's, it doesn't surprise me to hear the common stories of aliens working with governments, or sending messages to people like Howard Menger. It's actually surprising to see a new article saying something like "Theory suggests that aliens will make first contact with earth in the year so-and-so" as if to suggest that it hasn't already occured several times over thousands if not millions of years? After all the weird things I have seen and gone through, there's nothing obsurd about the thought of aliens being here, or the notion that the entire human race is an engineered species and that in a sense, all people are starseeds. I know they're here, and there are other beings that operate in a different dimension than most people know how to access, but I don't care too much to make blind contact with any being that can catch wind of my feelers anymore. I have already had plenty visions of different species to know that there is a multitude of beings to contact. But it comes down to a lack of trust for me to even be known by just any entity. Not all are as nice as they seem to be. I'm aware and open minded, but cautious of who I talk to. Hell, even us "Starseeds" arent all perfect Love And Light creatures. I have my own flaws and bad behavior to account for that, as well as knowing others just like myself. Alien or not, we aren't all clear cut and perfectly holy, no matter how badly we want to believe.
How Did You Find Out About ISN?
A simple google search of "Starseeds fucking up" led me here, and I saw a short sentence in the google search that interested me. I originally just wanted to hear an account by someone who has gone through a lot of shit, or someone who may have not done everything so perfectly, to find some comfort. It has been a long gime since I met someone else like me.
Do You Agree To The Guidelines Found @ http://www.starseeds.net/page/guidelines ?
Yes I agree
Comment Wall (6 comments)
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i am deeply gratified that i could help, Tanner...
does "Thunderbird" resonate with you ? then you may be Heyoka...but multitudes of peoples have their own versions of Sacred Clowns...you will enjoy exploring this vast area....maybe this will give you a bit of a start:
i felt like i had to add you, because i relate to you so much! i envy your ability to express what's going on your head, because i've felt many of those same things but would have such a hard time telling someone if i tried. i also have a history of addiction and now currently spend most of my time smoking cigarettes and listening to music! keep up the awesome work. all of your posts have been so helpful. hoping you can find "home" soon. :)
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