Intl. Starseed Network
Reuniting Humanity With Their Divinity...It's Time
Relationships with Emotional Vampires
I ended a relationship about a year ago, because I began realizing over time that when I am around him, I have no energy or motivation. He leaves, and I feel like I'm immediately recovering. I care a great deal for his well-being, but continue to spend time with him because I am his only friend. I try to understand that it is his responsibility to make new friends, but he does not. It comes down to me feeling guilty if I don't spend time with him. I feel lost in his distortions, like he is funneling my time and energy. I've tried psychic protection, but it doesn't last around him. What am I to do? End all communications with him so that I can flourish? How can I grow peace of mind in that he will move on? It is a very agitating feeling, that someone depends so hard on you and your positive energy that they may leech from you without conscious realization of doing so. Any advice is of great help. I just need more perspective on the issue
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Elizabeth on -
You have to look out for yourself. So you got to decide whats best for you and if that's cutting it off then I suppose you got to do what you got to do.
Maybe he feels no need to go out and meet new people because you are there for him? I only say this because when I broke up with my ex I made a huge effort to go out and meet people and make friends but I really struggled to do this when I was with my ex. For multiple reasons which I wont get into. We had a kid and my time was consumed with the baby etc etc. But never the less the break up was a catalyst for me to go out and make an effort to make friends. But if my ex had stuck around enough to remain friends I probably wouldnt have gone out and made friends because I wouldnt have been forced to do it for myself. Thats just my thoughts though :)
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Permalink Reply by Avior on -
The energy is a real thing, and it sounds like he is taking it from you. I agree with Elizabeth, in that you need to look out for yourself. It's more of a selfless / selfish balance that needs to be realized. I'd say if you have to do it slow, that's fine, but surely this person has some lessons to learn, that otherwise won't learn unless you step up and do your part.
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Permalink Reply by Starrynight on -
I understand where you are coming from. I myself ended a friendship based on this type of funneling he was doing. He literally did not want me to have other friends, wanted my complete attention, and if I did not would emotionally wreck me. At one time he even told me that I gave him the energy to do better, to be a better person. I was a fountain of energy he could consume at will, and I offered it openly to him. What I did not realize at that time that is exactly what he was doing to me. I became lost to the person I was, and almost became just a shell of who I once was. The universe sent moments in time for me to part ways but I kept coming back and allowing him to draw me in. And then finally the friendship ended through a car accident. Without fatalities I was shook out of my veil and my eyes were made open to finally leave him where he was in his life. It's taken me a year, but I feel so much better, I can think much clearer, and I can enjoy my life as I choose it to be.
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Permalink Reply by David on -
This post caught my attention because I too have just recently ended a relationship much like yours. What I have come to understand is that certain people fit certain "roles" in a starseed/lightworker's life. Typically, lightworkers have issues with other people wanting to steal their pure light because that is simply their nature, and they become attracted to these lightworkers without knowing it because of what they offer. The lightworker's role in this case, in my opinion, is to be assertive and not allow those kinds of people to drain their energy. In my case, what I ended up having to do was block out communication with this person, send love and light and wish him well on his journey, and move on. However, it would be different if said person were ready to learn and stop being a psychic vampire. But unfortunately, that is not always the case with everyone, and the only thing you can do is protect yourself and send your loving energies to someone who is ready. Its a give and take kind of thing really.
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Permalink Reply by Gil on -
David, do you feel a series of meditations asking he be guided by love to his next level of light, would be of any assistance? Once his codependency starts diminishing, you could additionally include meditations to break any soul ties to him, if you feel it's indicated. I sense he's struggling with gaps in the flow of love within himself, on a very deep level unrelated to you. He isn't quite sure how to face and address them so he is instead suppressing them, resulting in a holding pattern circling the deficits. Release him in love to his guides, masters, and teachers, that his spirit may renew so he may find his way again. Take care David & best wishes for a speedy resolution to this issue.
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Permalink Reply by John MacKechnie on -
Agree with all of the above.
A friendship based in guilt is not a friendship at all.
Be nice and polite. Start making plans without him. Even exclude him nicely by saying no guests. Be nice.
End the friendship on a positive note. So, that he doesn't use your actions as a negative inspiration for doing something dumb and drastic. (Have to be careful with my wording).
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Permalink Reply by David on -
Thank You, Elizabeth. That gives me some perspective to find resolution. Very much appreciated. I feel this has already begun to happen without even my realizing. I recently went on a vacation to Destin, Florida. I think all of the silent time spent basking in the sun, breathing the negative ions of the ocean, and purifying in the sea salt water..really dissolved many of my conflicts in relationships with others and myself.. It just kind of, lost meaning..and I've moved on. It's like my energy field is on maximum =) So thank you for your wisdom and your best effort of helping me. Love, Light, One. Namaste
Elizabeth said:You have to look out for yourself. So you got to decide whats best for you and if that's cutting it off then I suppose you got to do what you got to do.
Maybe he feels no need to go out and meet new people because you are there for him? I only say this because when I broke up with my ex I made a huge effort to go out and meet people and make friends but I really struggled to do this when I was with my ex. For multiple reasons which I wont get into. We had a kid and my time was consumed with the baby etc etc. But never the less the break up was a catalyst for me to go out and make an effort to make friends. But if my ex had stuck around enough to remain friends I probably wouldnt have gone out and made friends because I wouldnt have been forced to do it for myself. Thats just my thoughts though :)
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Permalink Reply by David on
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Hey, Thanks Avior. That is very to the point, and most helpful. I figured this much, but was just having difficulties breaking that last string I had tied to him. The situation has been dissolved. Thanks again =) All One. namaste
Avior said:The energy is a real thing, and it sounds like he is taking it from you. I agree with Elizabeth, in that you need to look out for yourself. It's more of a selfless / selfish balance that needs to be realized. I'd say if you have to do it slow, that's fine, but surely this person has some lessons to learn, that otherwise won't learn unless you step up and do your part.
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Permalink Reply by David on
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Starrynighty, Thank you for your time. That's terrible that you were in a bad car accident, and I'm very pleased that there were no fatalities. The situation with your dissolved friendship sounds quite equated to my own. The complete attention...always wanting to be around me, getting upset when I wanted to lose time being around him to go have other friendships..and feeling totally outside of yourself when you're around them. Like you're a lesser version of yourself when they are around. I am feeling like I can expand finally after all of this time. As though he were pinning me to a single point of a plane. I appreciate your sharing of a memory, it helped me greatly. Be well. Love Light One. namaste
Starrynighty said:I understand where you are coming from. I myself ended a friendship based on this type of funneling he was doing. He literally did not want me to have other friends, wanted my complete attention, and if I did not would emotionally wreck me. At one time he even told me that I gave him the energy to do better, to be a better person. I was a fountain of energy he could consume at will, and I offered it openly to him. What I did not realize at that time that is exactly what he was doing to me. I became lost to the person I was, and almost became just a shell of who I once was. The universe sent moments in time for me to part ways but I kept coming back and allowing him to draw me in. And then finally the friendship ended through a car accident. Without fatalities I was shook out of my veil and my eyes were made open to finally leave him where he was in his life. It's taken me a year, but I feel so much better, I can think much clearer, and I can enjoy my life as I choose it to be.
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Permalink Reply by David on
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Hello David, that is very interesting about people fitting roles in a starseed or lightworker's life. I feel as though I may have heard that before..but maybe forgotten in the many times I was with him. The actions you took are what I am choosing to take, now that I've regained personal power. Thank you for your wisdom. Much appreciated, friend. Be well. Peace =]
David said:This post caught my attention because I too have just recently ended a relationship much like yours. What I have come to understand is that certain people fit certain "roles" in a starseed/lightworker's life. Typically, lightworkers have issues with other people wanting to steal their pure light because that is simply their nature, and they become attracted to these lightworkers without knowing it because of what they offer. The lightworker's role in this case, in my opinion, is to be assertive and not allow those kinds of people to drain their energy. In my case, what I ended up having to do was block out communication with this person, send love and light and wish him well on his journey, and move on. However, it would be different if said person were ready to learn and stop being a psychic vampire. But unfortunately, that is not always the case with everyone, and the only thing you can do is protect yourself and send your loving energies to someone who is ready. Its a give and take kind of thing really.
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Permalink Reply by David on
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Hawk eye, thank for your time and words of wisdom. The situation has now been dissolved. I recently vacated oceanside, and I think the distance and the healing of sun and ocean dissolved any energy ties that we had. I feel so much better, like I can actually look forward to greater things and expand my consciousness. It feels my energy supply is replenished well, perhaps abundant. Be well. Love Light One , Namaste
Hawk eye said:I think when we have relationships with emotionally draining people attachments and cords are formed with our energy. I have experienced this myself and have found a year or 2 down the line that the person was still draining me. Try and look into doing cord cutting or ask a healer to help with this. Ask that all negative and draining cords be removed and you will find you feel alot better, more in your own power again. You may also need you aura sealed as well. It wont remove any loving connection you had with him only the draining attachments.
Hope things improve for you soon
blessings
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Permalink Reply by David on
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Tiane, the relationship is dissolved. After hearing your story, I think it was a bit more serious than my own situation. That must have been quite a wound. I hate that someone would put another through something of the sorts, consciously or otherwise. It is great to hear that you are much better now, which is wonderful. If we aren't are true selves, then we become distortions of our self. It seems I lost touch with myself, but gained it back after some intensive solitary healing in the sea. You have been extremely helpful to me, and I send you love and light. Deeply appreciative. Be well, Namaste.
Tíane said:David, you must end this relationship. He will carry on using you to feed his energy as long as you stick around. Stop mentally flogging yourself and feeling guilty about leaving him.
I too, finished a relationship about a year ago. We had been going around together for about 8 years. He nigh on crippled me. I was really quite ill when I finished with him. I was overweight, having difficulty walking any distance, fought to keep my mind in some sort of alert state and had developed some wierd allergies. I could still 'travel' in my dreams at night, but he had a bad habit of trying to wake me from this deep state - wow! that didn't do me any good either! (He didn't like me snapping at him either!) Although I fought to keep my mind 'together', there were days when I struggled. I am a Hedgewitch; a Pagan whose connection with Earth and the Old Ones, particularly the Goddess, is very important to me. I was having great difficulty trying to connect with anything spiritual. I only stuck with him at the end, to support him while he developed & wrote some important environmental policies.
Anyway, I moved house and finished with him at the same time. I felt a great weight lift from me. I started back on my healthy diet and am now vegan. I started doing small rituals and felt the connection again - it was wonderful! I felt better than I had for years and had no problems with walking. Still can't walk as much as I used to, but that's because of a bit of arthritis in my knees now. I placed crystals all around my home for protection and a friend made a little herb charm bag for me to carry around. I carried - and still do - protective crystals wherever I go (like Black Tourmalline) and wear a Lapis Lazuli pendant. Lapis is very protective and returns any psychic attack back to the sender, apparently to the power of ten. Anyway, it works, because he doesn't seem to be able to get through now. He was invading my own private space in my mind, which had never happened before, until the last two or three years with him. For a while, I had to envision a new place, that he obviously couldn't find.
He too, never seemed to have friends of his own nor make any. He just knew folks to say 'hi' to. He actually became a nuisance to several of my Pagan women friends and it all got very embarassing for them. I was more concerned that he would be a danger to them. However, I think he's got the message now and leaves them alone. He seemed to think we could stay friends and he could use my friends and my knowledge to help him with his work, so I had to tell him that he would have to make his own friends and do his own research now and not use me. He was not a happy bunny!
I don't think he understands the true nature of love and seems incapable of loving anyone, so I think he has much to learn in this lifetime!
Anyway, I'm fine now and enjoying my life very much!
Take good care of yourself David.
Bright Blessings
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