Just wondering if anyone else on here is like me in the fact that they react badly to harsh words or sometimes even just blunt words and even when someone is not being mean you still react sensitively? Because I have that issue, actually I've always had this issue - I guess I was born with it, I take everything either seriously or react way too sensitively towards it.

I've been told numerous times that I'm too hypersensitive and to stop and change this, but I can't stop as it's something that's a part of me. 

I've heard that its a starseed thing - especially from those from higher realms but I just wanted to clarify to make sure. 

Tags: Reaction, Sensitivity

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Dalj, You seem to be a healthy empath, nice to find such a person.

What about being both, thin-skinned and empathic? Kinda deadly mixture, a sign af an "ill" empath ;) Maybe that most sensitive empaths have to work harder to overcome the state of vunerability to reach the balance and step into being fully developed empaths? Cherishing the state of being destructively sensitive is a bit illogical to me, as it isn't benefitial to me at all - that's the thin skin you've mentioned. Not all thin-skinned people are empaths of course, I see your point. But some empaths are oversensitive and they cannot process messages correctly, it touches them too deep, like there is no shield between their feelings and feelings of the others. If not born with it, it is something to learn. Great you have it, you can teach Kaigera a lot.

I want to ask for your opinion - if I'm attacked and sense no pain but rather satisfaction ("I enjoy playing like this"), superiority ("you're wrong, we have to change you for your own good or the sake of the others") or  conformity ("I don't even know why she's bullied but I bully her too anyway"), are those fake  feelings? Or is there something behind? IMHO sometimes there is no pain, just lack of understanding. Especially among children.

"The key is to silence your own emotions, and learning to recognize when you are feeling the emotions of another being." - so simple, yet so hard to achieve ;) How to filter properly someone else's feelings and thoughts through your own structures without distortions. I'm done at this point ;)

For me, empathy equals copresence. Being able to look at the world through someone else's eyes. That lead to understanding. Compassion is one of the possible results of understanding.

I like my ego as it is, even if I know I need improvement. My issue is having too strong emotions, maybe a bit similar to what Kaigera experience. I'm able to answer back and state my mind without obstacles but I get sick from emotions later, no matter if positive or negative, whole me ;)

I'm looking forward to your advice in the future. Take care!

i know you asked Dalj, Musuhi, but might i offer 2 cents to think about ?

i don't claim to know anything...but i do like to think about things...

you said : "if I'm attacked and sense no pain but rather satisfaction"...

the attacker could still be a very insecure person in pain at times...but they seem to get a false momentary feeling of "power" over someone else , that might give them satisfaction and makes them forget about their own feelings of inadequacy even for one moment ?

this is the same with gossips....they're only slightly different from the typical image of a bully, but they can do even more harm....

they all seem to crave the momentary feeling of power, of " being a somebody" at someone else's expense...

but....we must not forget that there are also sociopaths that have their own unique psychological mix, but i'm not talking about those here...

blessings...addy

When something somebody says causes pain, the origins of that are usually my own ego problem - something I am insecure about. That is thin skin IMO.

Empathizing with somebody allows me to agree with them, not get angry - this would not give them the impression of thin skin. As a kid I simply couldn't get mad at people.

Your question - is it possible to have empathy for somebody attacking out of conformity, misunderstanding or superiority. I say yes. All of those states can emotionally be traced back to fear - even confusion, or inadequacy, like adeomus said. I don't rationalize this when I meet a person - I just look in their eyes and understand what they feel.

Empathy, as you know, by definition, is understanding emotion - not just feeling it. And while you are right that compassion is one aspect of this, I see it as the basis.

I know of one thing that helps me with strong emotions or chakra blockage - walking barefoot in the grass.

Thanks for your kind words. I learned a lot just by reading them.

Dalj - yes, seeing it through your perception is enriching, I shall think more about that. For now, I think it isn't an insecurity that causes pain only, it's more like feeling of injustice. My disagreement doesn't change a fact I admire your calmness.

"As a kid I simply couldn't get mad at people" - hm, I don't remember myself as kid being particularly angry, I can tell honestly that now I am sometimes mad. Or maybe more frequently than sometimes ;) When I think about your words, it is indeed a kind of pain - when I fail to protect myself and others. Is understanding an acceptance? I would say not always. I understand why some people use others in a brutal way for their own benefits, however, I do not agree with that kind of behaviour. I understand why a particular person attacks me but I do not agree with it.

Or I misunderstood - you agree with the emotion, not the way it is expressed? Pain or fear justify attacks?

Yeees, I would add to it chilling with my 4 cats and a dog and I'm fresh and ready steady again. It has to wait though... Or I'll find pleasure in walking barefoot in the snow, what about that ;) My nephew gives me a lot of relaxation too, we've been destined to fool around together even before he came out of his mummy ;) Really, I remember when I asked my sis if I could touch her belly to feel the baby, she said it's too early for that, nevertheless, I reached to the baby with a greeting and that little rebel kicked me ;) All that creatures that came out of my sisters are my best friends ever, happy to have them. Music always calm me down too, especially when listened with my dear friends. Music will save us all, lol ;)

Adeomus, no, you cannot, now I'm gonna eat you, bon appétit ;) Everyone is welcomed to share. Don't worry, feel free to say whatever you think, honesty above all - I will not call you a liar or something like that. Yep, I asked Dalj and sincerely hoped there are others to give me some insight too.

"this is the same with gossips....they're only slightly different from the typical image of a bully, but they can do even more harm...." - I know something about that too. Still, I don't understand how can I remain calm when I see it harms not only me but also people dear to me. How to react to lies so they stop spreading, I don't know now. In the past I wasn't too concerned but now, when I see how much it can change my life, I wonder. Yup, it is a kind of an insecurity, but how not to feel it when others are endangered? I would love to hear your opinion.

Thank you both, guys, for the insight and your kind patience! There's a lot to learn ahead but I'm sure that I, Kaigera and the rest of our happy circle of super-sensitive beings will succeed in expanding.

To be fair, I was not implying that insecurity is the cause of all pain. If you read that part again, I was referring specifically to pain caused by upsetting words. This pain is mind/ego based, and can be traced to insecurity/fear. So I think we're on the same page there - no disagreement :) .

Injustice is different from the defensive nature of the mind/ego. Injustice can be heart based, in contrast to the defensive ego.

And yes, you are right - understanding and empathizing with negative action doesn't justify it.

*smiles* hi musuhi <3

you said "Still, I don't understand how can I remain calm when I see it harms not only me but also people dear to me"...

i completely feel you...it hurts me much more when someone i love is hurt, than when i am.

sadly i have had way too much experience over 6 decades, of needing to learn how to handle things...but i have learned.

Imho it's a matter of eventually becoming confident and experienced enough to know when and what to say, to finish them off, once and for all. Make it as brief as possible for the most impact. Practice if you want !

in my experience, it's best in front of witnesses because bullies are cowards and will fear saying anything to you and yours in future..they'll go elsewhere for their fix.

..Or...this will also send them somewhere else if they cannot bait you :    To know when to blow it off with a lingering condescending look and a raised eyebrow, and let them hang there exposing themselves to the world for what they are. *smiles*...practice in a mirror.

it's also knowing what to say, in either case, to the dear ones who are hurt... reassure them that they are deeply loved, and that the offender has private  issues that have nothing to do with them...that they act like that because they may not have enough love in their lives or are jealous ...

and to move on.

lol....in fact, this reminds me of a saying i love:

"To live well is the best revenge".

My mother saw this on my fridge and snapped " what do you mean by that ?!!"  

...i said " exactly what it says."

she gave me a weird look and, for once, she was speechless and unsatisfied.

"To live well is the best revenge" - what an amazing coincidence - my mum says it to me all the time, when I come to her and we talk about me feeling a thirst for revenge - it always calms me down. My dear father taught me that too. So cool you reminded me that. My mum is also in her sixties and also been through a lot - I must tell her I've met you, she'll be happy to be aware of her next soul sibling :)

Thank you, Adeomus, I feel much lighter now.

I had an issue with this at the start of my day. Im visiting my family for a little while and the house is filled with my mother, stepfather, youngest brother, grandparent, oldest brother, sister in law, and their child, my niece. I spend the most time with my niece because shes an old one like me and we get along the best, mostly play around and goof off, and any time I notice her getting into a bad habit, I try to teach her with advice on things to avoid so she stays out of trouble, but mostly I encourage us to act with freedom. Her parents on the other hand, they are extremely strict amd controlling, and pick apart every single little thing they dont like and try to enforce their own structures about it on my niece, and I do my best to stay out of the way and not tell them that they need to just let her do her thing and find better ways to understand her behavior and why she acts the way she does. Shes a little rebel, but she has a heart of gold. Admittedly, it fills me with anger every time they unleash their anger and control on her, and I shake ot off as best I can. But what sets me off the most, is they treat me like a moron too, as if I dont understand their reasons for soing things, and they try to enforce their ways and reasons on me and get me to comply with their every demand and command, and if I show the slightest expression of dissatisfaction or indifference to their demands, they come at me and try to force it harder. Today, my brother tried to tell me to not say a certain thing in front of my niece, and I got the message, but it was when he repeated his "got it?" a second time, as if he was just expecting and demanding my compliant response, as I walked away I let a short "fuck off" slip out. He definitely didnt like that and came at me asking what did I say, and stubbornly I reacted saying you heard me, and he and I got into a fit of rage. It got to me so fiercely, that I couldnt contain myself and I kicked off my slippers challenging him to a fist fight, ready to beat the crap out of him. Once it started, I couldnt calm down and I continued to project a serious threat, that if he came anywhere near me, that I would literally kill him. I was on a roll for days, keeping my anger cool and not exploding in a fit of rage, but that one little moment of conflict set me off my hinges. I felt the heaviest force of darkness come down on me as I stayed in a stance of hatred, ready to react with extreme violence that felt like I had just undone loads of work trying to implement peace and light. Twenty steps backwards it felt like. But I have to let it go and work on getting back to peace again, otherwise ill continue to fall. You definitely arent the only one who has trouble with it. It sucks when the sensitivity gets to be overwhelming, but i believe it will be worth it to keep trying and pick up the pieces, attempt to make things better again.
Don't be too hard on yourself. A lot of times, we empaths can see the actual intent and emotion behind words....I think you reacted accordingly. I doubt anybody saying "got it?" would bother you if they really meant well. You don't have to put up with people patronizing you just so they can feel superior.
Thank you.

:-)

Thank you for that. Last night was a difficult one for me, as many nights tend to be, but last night in particular. This message was needed.

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